Mental Health & Powerlifting







                                           



     It is no secret that I enjoy powerlifting and all of benefits that come from it. One thing that I may not share, or discuss as often is my mental health for fear of the stigma. I suffer from bipolar depression and anxiety along with several other ailments that can be detrimental to one's mind and mental health.  I never had much confidence in myself, especially around the beginning of my teenage years, where everyone is trying to see where they fit in.  I had trouble making friends mainly because I was shy and misreading social cues. This would cause me to suffer in silence and I always felt guilty and did not know how to handle rejection well. I would listen to music that displayed a lot of anger to try to express myself, but the anger, sadness, and guilt still lingered. By the start of my 8th grade year though I started going to the gym and within a year I found a way to express myself!


     All through 8th grade I was still trying to figure out my niche, but the more I lifted, the more I felt like lifting was my activity of choice and started becoming my passion. And by 9th grade I started taking it serious. I started having great success with it that not only physically was I feeling good, but mentally I started feeling better about myself and for once had a positive mindset. I even wanted to start competing in tournaments. However my 10th grade year I began to face some personal demons. I was diagnosed with depression, I could not sleep at night and would get physically sick and could not even go to school. The only thing that made me feel good was once again lifting. The gym was my sanctuary and escape from "reality". The ironic thing was my anxiety got out of control that I would also want to get my workout in as soon as possible during the day, and I think looking back on it, it was because I could get that euphoric feeling and actually feel good about myself after finishing a workout.

     11th grade started and I was being medicated for my conditions, but I ultimately turned to lifting to determine how I was going to feel for the day. Slowly but surely I started feeling better again. And because I stuck it out with lifting I was able to overcome those demons and even able to lift in my first tournament successfully that spring by bench pressing 336.8 and 551.2 in the 220lb. weight class at a bodyweight of just 215lbs.  To this day whenever I have faced any obstacles (such as my mother's death, and any other episode of depression) lifting has still been my go to to tackle my problems head on because it allows me not only to express myself, but take on and face my demons and overcome them because of it!  I hope I can inspire others to find their outlet to overcome whatever it is that they are facing. Whether it be powerlifting, running, painting, or something simple as watching movies, I want to help others persevere through hardships.

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